Someone Please Give Us Oprah's 'Favorite Things'

Elliot Kort

Category: Warehouse


In light of Oprah’s departure, the country – nay, the world – must face an ever-daunting and anxiety-producing question: Who will tell us what stuff to like?

It’s true, since Ms. Winfrey debuted her first “Favorite Things” episode in 2002, the cosmos have turned to her for the kind of spiritual guidance that leads individuals to understand what kind of popcorn to enjoy or which pair of UGG boots to wear. So, in our darkest hour, we here at NJI Media request someone help us through this trying time by giving us some of Oprah’s favorite things. What follows is an itemized list. Thank you.

Carolyn would like the “Planet Earth” box set: “What better way to experience the world than by sitting in front of my television?”

Nathan would like Apple Bottom Jeans by Nelly: “Nothing makes me feel confident quite like a pair of Apple Bottom Jeans.”

Josh would like the Oprah Winfrey Show 20th Anniversary DVD collection: “Our clients will absolutely love having this on an endless loop during all of our meetings.”

Elliot would like The Story of Edgar Sawtelle by David Wroblewski: “I’d love to read this book, and I don’t believe in libraries.”

Alissa would like a Burberry cashmere scarf: “Clyde would be the most stylish Corgi in all of Alexandria.”

Dave would like the Magellan RoadMate: “I’ll just have it point me toward the nearest Chipotle.”

Archie would like a J.Lo velour sweatsuit: “There’s nothing better to wear to the office.”

Mike would like Josh Groban’s Noel: “Easy, breezy summer tunes!”

Joanna would like Decoded by Jay-Z: “Jay and I have so much in common to start with, I’m just looking forward to seeing how similar our raps are.”

Adam would like Williams-Sonoma Breville Ikon panini press: “No more paying extra for them to grill my sandwiches at Subway!”

Derek the Intern would like to go to Disneyland… with Oprah: “Best… vacay… EVERRRRRRRRR!”

Please contact us via Twitter, Facebook or email to inquire how best to give us these gifts. And FYI, a 2012 Volkswagen Beetle is the perfect delivery vehicle.

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